I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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