im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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