i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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