Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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