My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
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I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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