WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
