Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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