I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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