Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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