ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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