I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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