I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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