D3 body, D1 cock
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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