I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
