after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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