I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
50% drunk capacity currently
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
