sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
