Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
