what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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