Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
