so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
