people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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