she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize