corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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