wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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