Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
