dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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