That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
