I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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