i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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