Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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