You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So much rum. So many feels.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
