shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
