i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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