I must be too annoying 4 u.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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