69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
