Me too!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize