They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
