At least make sure they are 18
Why
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
