I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize