The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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