I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
