i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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