some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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