Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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