problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
