I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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