i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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