there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
