So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
