i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
