There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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