Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
