Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
